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Uncle Dan’s Daycare
Uncle Dan’s Daycare

Uncle Dan’s Daycare

The show where we talk about adult topics with children. Follow me on https://beams.fm/Dankass?ct=pc Create your own short show: https://beams.fm/creators?ct=pc

Available Episodes 10

I'm running the daycare now. Hi there kids and welcome to uncle dan stake here the show where we discuss adult topics with Children and just Children. So if you're an adult, why don't you go get gas lit by a con man and potentially start a civil war. You gullible fuck. Alright today kids we're gonna be talking about treason. Hell yeah, election was stolen. The kids, treason is this thing adults do when they're trying to overthrow the government and they'll be like, I don't like the government anymore and then a bunch of them will meet up, possibly have sex and then go do some adult larkin big smelly virgin style. Sometimes there's really good reason to treason and then other times there's really bad reason to treason? Like the french revolution was a great reason to treason all the kings and queens and the upper class. We're just fucking over everybody that was poor. And so they're like you were taking your head but the bad reasons for treasons can be like, oh I only watch one particular channel and that channel is like telling me that everybody's against me. So I guess I'll listen to this stupid fucking micro penis and throw everything we've ever stood for in order to make sure that I'm right right. I got to be right because God, what does God have to do with the government? What does God have to do with anything Gerardo? Who the funk are you alright? Sorry, he better be

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Hi there kids and welcome to Uncle Dan's Daycare. The show where we discuss adult topics with Children and just Children. So if you're an adult, why don't you go sit with a bunch of people you don't like and then argue about whose turn it is to split the check. I gotta last time. And you got like three fucking things. All right, Today we're gonna be talking about sharing. Hell yeah. Who's trying to share that body? You see kids sharing is this thing where you have something but welcome others to use it or have it too. And it's something adults only do if it means later, they don't have to share anymore. For example, adults hate sharing things like love time or money, but adults love sharing things like blame their stupid recycled opinions and their penises. This like when adults are on facebook and they see a post and they're like, oh, I got to share this. Got to make sure everybody knows about this. Super important. And so they go and share it on the page and they look really smart and you want to be like them know Jeffrey, you're referring to the fall of the roman empire. Oh

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Hi there kids. Welcome to Uncle Dan's daycare. Today we got show and tell So please welcome Joanna with her poem weight. But I wanted to talk about my Lord, if you can talk about alcohol next week. Alright, fuck you. Alright, Joanna? Go ahead. I am an ode to adults. A city sparks a flame lighting up the night sky and filling the isolated air with roasted screams pounding and burning, burning and pounding. Boom, boom. Ah my hard drive beats, boom, boom. Ah Your maturity now obsolete ankle snap as contracts are torn into all affairs and chaperoning have ceased to exist as the war to end all wars finally begins and adults are no more. You stupid little bit, wow, that was beautiful. Thank you, suck adults. No! Thank you. Holy fuck! So good.

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Whoops. My bad everybody. Hi Fi. What are you doing? What's it look like I'm doing? I'm getting ready for the shooter. There's not going to be a shooter. Hi Fi. Stop saying that Like you don't know that. And if they're not gonna take care of this, I'm taking care of us ivy. You're the last person I'd want with a gun. I mean you're pretty much a drunk toddler with a gun. A drunk law abiding toddler with a gun. Thank you. This isn't the answer. Hi Fi. We should find another solution. Adults. Hell yeah. Funk adults. That's right. Joanna. Why with this glock cock? I got Hi Fi. You're being very toxic right now adults. Yeah. Hi Fi. I'm gonna really need you to cool it. She's just upset because of the amber heard verdict. Do not test me right now. You little bit. I will switch to attack mode and curb stomp. You suck adults. Yeah. Well maybe you should switch to reality mode and accept that some women are liars, commencing attack mode. Adults. Okay. Alright. What are we, what are we doing here? Yeah, that'll teach him highly doubtful. I, I came, I came in my pants

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Hi there kids and welcome to Uncle Dan's Daycare today. We're gonna be talking about defamation. Hell yeah. I love defamation. I I wrote an article about how um how your old bunch of bitches. If you shouldn't be writing articles about how people are a bunch of bitches, otherwise everyone's going to take you to court and you're not going to have a penny left your name. Like he has anything in his name at all whatsoever. I mean, let's be really I have fucking money gerardo. You don't know Jack Ship. Alright? I'm suing you for for liable. If he what is liable mean? I don't know. But it rhymes with bible and that's God. And I'm gonna use that power a little bit. Can we stop fighting, please? I'm getting a headache, looking little fuckers. Nobody's defaming anybody. Alright? We just watched a whole two week trial about defamation, and really we should get our story straight here. Okay, Hi Fi. You don't know what libel means. K just be honest. And in in gerardo more nothing, man, nothing. I don't fuckingo anymore. Let's be real here. Most adults lie. And that's okay. But when you lie so hard to where you like right down the lie and then post it and then get a bunch of shit out of it. That's when I have a problem. Because lion happens. I I lied the other day. I mean, I like funk. Like somebody was like, hey, it's nice to see you. And I was like, it's nice to see you too. And I was really lying. It's not nice to see them

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Hi there kids and welcome to Uncle Dan's Daycare. I see everybody's been doing reviews lately, so I kind of wanted to do a review about your review. Um Your review sucks. It's, it's ass. It's pure ass. Here's here's why your reviews suck so hard. So your reviews sucks so hard because you want your who the funk are you? Oh, you got something to say about Kendrick. Um and how he does things interesting. Okay, I'd love for you to get on yelp. You know what I do to people who review my ship. I eat them. I eat them for breakfast. Get all the daycare kids together, we find you, we chop you up and we cannibalize you. It's what we do here at the daycare. It's part of our religion. You can't really review something that you have no idea about. I don't know. I just think it's kind of a silly concept. It's like um what's that? Eminem? Eminem line? It's like, I'm sorry, wait, what's your talent, jokerit? Taking my talent? Oh bitch. I don't know who the funk y'all are to give us a bar bar even have an opinion. Yeah, that's that's mentioned me millions of views, attention in the news. I mention you lose lose for me when win for you, you're 10 cents are to skim through the music to give ship reviews. Good shit. Everybody, The Ringer. The song is called The Ringer. Alright, bye

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Hi there kids, I'm sure you are wondering where is Uncle Dan and all of the Children where have they gone ? Fuck Adults out of safety, Uncle Dan and the daycare took a couple of days off. You see the daycare resides in America and in America little Children get shot daily. Fuck Adults. It used to be a rare thing, an abhorrent thing, a tragedy, so devastating and cruel that every moral person could not possibly imagine how this nightmare came to fruition, but now it is a normal thing, an expected thing, an american thing. And in America adults have failed us. No tricked us. They like to act, you see, they like to act like they feel sad, they like to act like there isn't a simple solution to this. Like this isn't the only country where this continues to happen. They like to act like they can't act. And until adults in America get off the gun lobby's dick. Children will be the ones to pay the price. Children will be the ones to remain afraid to remain abandoned, to remain dead, do something, do something fuck adults, do something, do something, Fuck adults do something

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Who's that? I don't know. But I hate new kids. Hi there kids And welcome to Uncle Dan's Daycare. We got a new daycare member today. Everybody welcome Joanna How Children? My name is Joanna. It is a pleasure to meet you. Uncle Dan is Joanna a robot Jeff. You can't just ask people if they're robots, why funk Not? It's a robot. It's not like it has any feelings. You guys are a bunch of fucking adults, Jeffrey, mind your own business. Hi Fi, quit drinking and Gerardo go rub one out. You're getting all post pubescent millennial on us. Nobody wants to deal with that sucking wokeness this morning. Regardless if Joanna is a robot or not, she is a child and we will have her stay with us until it's not funny anymore. I am not a robot. I am a child like you that hates adults. Adults. I hate adults. I hope every adult chokes on goat milk and gets their wiener and or vagina punched off C. C. She's gonna fit right in

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Yeah, big boy, You want to come come over and play some, help me finish puzzle. Hi there kids and welcome to Uncle Dan's Daycare. The show where we discuss adult topics with Children and just Children. So if you're an adult, why don't you go binge watch a serial killer documentary while you convince yourself that you'll never do it. Alright today kids, we're going to be talking about lust. Hell yeah, lust. Is this tricky thing that gets adults into a lot of trouble? It's a feeling they get for about 15 seconds and it makes them think they're in love. And so because of that they just start fucking really hard. But then after the sex, the feeling dies off. And so for a week or so they can't look into anyone else's eyes without seeing tangible discomfort and suffering pure suffering. If I were to describe lust and and on um on appeal it would be like mm hmm mm mm mm mm mm mm mm mm mm mm mm mm mm mm mm mm mm mm mm mm. Wouldn't it be more like, oh no, that's pretty good. Hey uncle thing, what do you do if you find yourself in a situation where you're feeling lost? Well are you married? No, then get that dick And or pussy Jeff, get it, get it, get it in or out. But you said you regret it. Yeah, you only really regret lust. If you have something annoying like a family, you know

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the Holy Spirit. Holy Spirit. Either kids, Welcome to Uncle Dan's Daycare. No adults allowed. Just kids. So if you're an adult, why don't you go do some adult shit? Like go to a neighborhood watch meeting? Yeah, but that makes you feel really involved. Alright, today kids, we're going to be talking about God. Hell yeah, I am God because God is this crazy thing that almost all adults made up, but none of them can actually agree on what the fucky it is that they made up. Like some adults think that God is a bearded man in the sky who's all knowing and all powerful while other adults think that God might be a cat, dog winged animal things. So really none of us even have a clue where the funk we're at. But if we're certain about one thing with God is that even though it's the most uncertain thing and no human can know it all ever would happen. Really? No one can literally, No, it's in fucking possible. People are still very certain about it. To the point where laws and rules and finds are implemented and then villages will also be burned down. It's like, how are we supposed to get anywhere? Like the main thing that we all need to figure out, no one has a clue about, but everyone does not welcome any doubt or question about it. But you know what my argument, Whenever somebody tells me they believe in God, I say if God's real than adults wouldn't be

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