13. Porn: How Do We Talk To Our Children About It

How do we talk to our children about porn? It’s one of the biggest questions we still have after making The Family Sex Show. And it's one of the subjects guardians seem to be increasingly concerned about. This episode is an offer, just one of many possible starting points for anyone wanting to begin this conversation with their children. It's been co-created with School of Sexuality Education and is for all people with caring responsibilities for children. </p> This episode discusses porn, ethical decision making, sexual consent, gender norms, male gaze, racist tropes, ableism, understanding of safe sex and the use of protection.</p> In the episode, we mention NSPCC guidance around sexual development and behaviour in children. There's a link to that here:</p> <a href="https://learning.nspcc.org.uk/child-health-development/sexual-behaviour" target="_blank">https://learning.nspcc.org.uk/child-health-development/sexual-behaviour</a></p> For more information, a glossary of terms, credits, or for a transcript of the podcast, please visit <a href="http://www.thefamilysexshow.com/" target="_blank">www.thefamilysexshow.com</a> </p> If you’d like to find us on social media, you can do that @ThisEgg_ across Instagram and Twitter. We’re also using the hashtag #TFSS </p> If you have time, we’d love to hear what you thought - please do leave us a review :)</p>

00:09:14

1. An Introduction

Hey! Welcome to episode 1 of The Family Sex Show Starts Here. First up, an introduction. This episode introduces you to the people who have been making this podcast and The Family Sex Show (the on stage show). There’s also a song. </p> For more information, a glossary of terms, credits, or for a transcript of the podcast, please visit <a href="http://www.thefamilysexshow.com/" target="_blank">www.thefamilysexshow.com</a> </p> If you’d like to find us on social media, you can do that @ThisEgg_ across Instagram and Twitter. We’re also using the hashtag #TFSS</p> If you have time, we’d love to hear what you thought - please do leave us a review :)</p> <br /></p> <br /></p>

00:05:29

2. Bodies

Hello there! Episode 2 is all about bodies. We all have a body. My body is different from your body. All our bodies are awesome, and we get to live inside them. </p> We’ve started with the theme of bodies because that’s where Relationships and Sex Education starts. That said, this isn’t designed to be an Relationships and Sex Education resource, instead these are some creative responses to the subject, from the people making The Family Sex Show (the on stage show). </p> This particular episode contains some graphic language, talk of nakedness and genitalia as well as issues related to body image and racism. Part of this episode also includes distorted sounds of voices and sounds of a sexual nature including sounds of heavy breathing. If you’d like to listen, please do so in a way that feels comfortable to you.</p> For more information, a glossary of terms, credits, or for a transcript of the podcast, please visit <a href="http://www.thefamilysexshow.com/" target="_blank">www.thefamilysexshow.com</a> </p> If you’d like to find us on social media, you can do that @ThisEgg_ across Instagram and Twitter. We’re also using the hashtag #TFSS</p> If you have time, we’d love to hear what you thought - please do leave us a review :)</p> <br /></p>

00:25:10

3. Bodies: A Conversation

Welcome back! Episode 3 is a ‘sub-episode’, the first of a series of conversations with guest speakers, using the previous episode as a starting point. This one is about bodies. If you haven’t listened to the Bodies episode, we’d suggest doing that as we reference it here.</p> Here, Josie Dale-Jones chats to Toni Lewis and Kate Lovell (@katejlovell). </p> Here is a list of some of the other materials or cultural references we mention: The Inbetweeners on E4, Sex Education on Netflix, The Churchill Dog, A Dropbox, Politics of Desire, Infograpics, Checklists, Normal People on BBC.</p> The Family Sex Show Starts Here explores themes around gender, sexuality bodies, pleasure, relationships and boundaries. In this sub-episode we chat about ableism, pregnancy, birth, difficult births and desexualisation. We talk about pleasure, and discuss the focus of sex being dominated by penatration. We talk about body image, beauty standards, fatism, fatphobia, weight bias and weight loss groups. We talk about rope tying and BDSM, gender identity, repression, and stereotypes. We talk about consent. These episodes are conversations. They do not offer solid answers. Sometimes opinions are offered, but they are not necessarily finished. We invite you to keep questioning what is said, to discover what feels right for you, and what doesn’t. This is your conversation as much as it is ours. If you feel comfortable listening, do that in a way that best suits you.</p> For more information, a glossary of terms, credits, or for a transcript of the podcast, please visit <a href="http://www.thefamilysexshow.com/" target="_blank">www.thefamilysexshow.com</a> </p> If you’d like to find us on social media, you can do that @ThisEgg_ across Instagram and Twitter. We’re also using the hashtag #TFSS</p> If you have time, we’d love to hear what you thought - please do leave us a review :)</p> <br /></p>

01:00:49

4. Gender & Sexuality

Hey! Episode 4 explores gender and sexuality. It is about learning, unlearning and relearning.  It is a celebration of difference, equality, and liberation.</p> This isn’t designed to be a Relationships and Sex Education resource, instead these are creative responses to the subject, from the people making The Family Sex Show. </p> In this episode, there will be some swearing and homophobic language. There is discussion of queerphobia, gaslighting, toxic masculinity, consent, sexual violence, negging, and bullying. There will also be mention of nakedness and description of menstruation. The pieces in the podcast also represent lots of different experiences from different stages in the work to understanding gender and sexuality. It is a journey to uplifting and re-discovering queerness in all forms of life. Because of this there is sometimes the use of erasing language within this evolving journey. If you feel comfortable listening, do that in a way that suits you best.</p> For more information, a glossary of terms, credits, or for a transcript of the podcast, please visit <a href="http://www.thefamilysexshow.com/" target="_blank">www.thefamilysexshow.com</a> </p> If you’d like to find us on social media, you can do that @ThisEgg_ across Instagram and Twitter. We’re also using the hashtag #TFSS</p> If you have time, we’d love to hear what you thought - please do leave us a review :)</p>

00:22:19

5. Gender & Sexuality: A Conversation

Hey again! Episode 5 is another ‘sub-episode’, a conversation with invited guests. This conversation uses episode 4 - Gender & Sexuality as a starting point. If you haven’t listened to Gender & Sexuality, we’d suggest doing that as we reference it here.</p> The speakers in this conversation are Dr Emma Chan (@squisquasque) and Reece Lyons (<a href="http://reecelyons.uk/" target="_blank">https://www.reecelyons.uk/</a> @reecelyons_). </p> Here are some of the people, materials and cultural references we mention: Gender and Sexuality, and Sexual Health workshops by School of Sexuality Education, Eastenders the TV show, the Brit School, Section 28, Gender Spectrum, Queer Ecology, Gender Reveal Parties, <a href="https://www.theguardian.com/sport/2019/may/03/caster-semenya-south-africa-race-final-800m-testosterone" target="_blank">Caster Semenya</a>, Two Spirit, Hydra Community, Olympics, Michael Phelps, Lynx Africa, Tick Tock, Grindr, We Need To Talk About Money by Otegha Uwagba</p> This sub-episode contains some strong language, discussions around what is “normal”, heteronormativity and ablism as well as white privilege and cis gendered perspectives. We talk about taught and learnt behaviours in order to “fit in”. We talk about pronouns, homophobia, socialised patterns of gender and sexuality, white supremacy and transphobia. We talk about TERFs. We explore labels and their binaries as well as the nuance and space within those concepts. We mention pregnancy and gender reveals. We also mention Covid, misogynoir. We talk about self image. These sub episodes are conversations. They do not offer solid answers. Sometimes opinions are offered, but they are not necessarily finished. We invite you to keep questioning what is said, to discover what feels right for you, and what doesn’t. This is your conversation as much as it is ours. If you’d like to listen, please do so in a way that feels comfortable for you.</p> For more information, a glossary of terms, credits, or for a transcript of the podcast, please visit <a href="http://www.thefamilysexshow.com/" target="_blank">www.thefamilysexshow.com</a> </p> If you’d like to find us on social media, you can do that @ThisEgg_ across Instagram and Twitter. We’re also using the hashtag #TFSS</p> If you have time, we’d love to hear what you thought - please do leave us a review :)</p>

00:59:01

6. Pleasure

Hiya! And welcome back. Episode 6 is centred on pleasure. Putting the good stuff at the forefront of conversation and knowing why we might say yes, so we know when to say no. </p> This episode talks about nakedness, genitalia, and body fluids. There is a celebration of masturbation. It is also OK not to masturbabte. We are not saying everyone must masturbate. We all find pleasure in different things. We explore vaginismus as well as hetronormative expectations of pleasure. We also explore one’s relationship to porn and the idea of ‘coming out’. If you feel like you’d like to listen to this episode, find somewhere you feel comfortable to do so.</p> For more information, a glossary of terms, credits, or for a transcript of the podcast, please visit <a href="http://www.thefamilysexshow.com/" target="_blank">www.thefamilysexshow.com</a> </p> If you’d like to find us on social media, you can do that @ThisEgg_ across Instagram and Twitter. We’re also using the hashtag #TFSS</p> If you have time, we’d love to hear what you thought - please do leave us a review :)</p>

00:34:13

7. Pleasure: A Conversation

Welcome back! Episode 7 is the third in a series of conversations with invited guests This conversation uses the Pleasure episode as a starting point. If you haven’t listened to the episode 6 - Pleasure, we’d suggest doing that as we reference it here.</p> In this episode, Josie chats with invited guests Selina Thompson (<a href="http://www.selinathompson.co.uk/" target="_blank">www.selinathompson.co.uk </a>@SelinaTLtd) and Sreena Pluck. </p> Here are some of the people, materials and cultural references they mention: Audrey Lorde speaking about the Power of The Erotic, Toni-Dee Paul, Angela Carter, Fan Fiction and Erotic Fan Fiction, Lois Weaver, Frottage: Frictions of Intimacy Across the Black Diaspora by Keguro Macharia, Sex in the City, Peg the Patriarchy Met Gala T-Shirt, Oh Joy Sex Toy, Aorace In The Dungeon, omgyes.com, Oblivion Eggs.</p> In this sub-episode, we explore themes of gender, sexuality, bodies, pleasure, relationships and boundaries. This sub-episode is mostly centred around pleasure. We talk about play parties and BDSM. We reference vaginal discharge, antidepressants, alcohol and drinking. We talk about trauma and the body as a site of trauma. Specifically, we talk about vaginismus. We talk about sexual assault. We talk about different forms of oppression, particularly racism and misogyny. We mention the effects of menopause on sex. We mention homophobia and some homophobic language is used. We mention Tubal ligation. We talk about ‘phases in sexuality’. We mention sex work and porn. We talk about different attitudes towards sex, particularly culutral differences and how that can effect your own identity and place within certain communities. These sub episodes are conversations. They do not offer solid answers. Sometimes opinions are offered, but they are not necessarily finished. We invite you to keep questioning what is said, to discover what feels right for you, and what doesn’t. This is your conversation as much as it is ours. If you’d like to listen, please do in a way that feels comfortable for you.</p> For more information, a glossary of terms, credits, or for a transcript of the podcast, please visit <a href="http://www.thefamilysexshow.com/" target="_blank">www.thefamilysexshow.com</a> </p> If you’d like to find us on social media, you can do that @ThisEgg_ across Instagram and Twitter. We’re also using the hashtag #TFSS</p>

00:52:45

8. Relationships

Hey! Episode 8 focuses on relationships. Romantic relationships and friendships, parent-child relationships and other dynamics. Relationships with other people, and your own relationships with yourself. Beginnings, middles and ends. </p> This episode contains swearing, descriptions of physical sexual intimacy, and mentions drug use. There is also the exploration of objectification, hypersexualisation, racial prejudice and racial profiling. We explore parent-child dynamics and parenthood. If you’d like to listen, please do so in a way that feels comfortable to you.</p> For more information, a glossary of terms, credits, or for a transcript of the podcast, please visit <a href="http://www.thefamilysexshow.com/" target="_blank">www.thefamilysexshow.com</a> </p> If you’d like to find us on social media, you can do that @ThisEgg_ across Instagram and Twitter. We’re also using the hashtag #TFSS</p> If you have time, we’d love to hear what you thought - please do leave us a review :)</p>

00:39:36

9. Relationships: A Conversation

Welcome back! Episode 9 is another conversation with invited guests. This time we explore the ideas and material in the Relationships episode. If you haven’t listened to the episode 8 - Relationships, we’d suggest doing that as we reference it here.</p> In this episode, Josie speaks to Sophie Whitehead (@bonbourbons) and Gayathiri Kamalakanthan (@unembarrassable). </p> Here are some of the references they mention: Pleasure Activism by adrienne maree brown, ‘Worried that Covid has stolen your sex life? Join the club’ Article by Zoe Williams in the Guardian, The Right to Sex by Amia Srinivasan, Dear Senthuran by Akwaeke Emezi, The Death of Vivek Oji by Akwaeke Emezi, Decolonising Desire by Gayathiri Kamalakanthan for <a href="https://almazohene.com/" target="_blank">Almaz Ohene</a>.</p> This sub-episode explores themes of gender, sexuality, bodies, pleasure, relationships and boundaries. In this sub-episode, we talk about  friendships and the breakdown of friendships. We talk about grief and loss, family dynamics, sexual and romantic relationships, porn, online  and digital intimacy, touch, the pandemic and also loneliness. We talk about racist and misogynistic tropes, monogamy and nonmonogamy, heteronormativity and also romanticism.  These sub episodes are conversations. They do not offer solid answers. Sometimes opinions are offered, but they are not necessarily finished. We invite you to keep questioning what is said, to discover what feels right for you, and what doesn’t. This is your conversation as much as it is ours.  If you’d like to listen, please listen in a way or in an environment that feels comfortable for you.</p> For more information, a glossary of terms, credits, or for a transcript of the podcast, please visit <a href="http://www.thefamilysexshow.com/" target="_blank">www.thefamilysexshow.com</a> </p> If you’d like to find us on social media, you can do that @ThisEgg_ across Instagram and Twitter. We’re also using the hashtag #TFSS</p> If you have time, we’d love to hear what you thought - please do leave us a review :)</p>

00:53:55